I started to title this Sunday Morning Muse with Mixed Emotions. But that seemed too trite and true. The vegetable soup is tangible and real, I'm having my second bowl while writing this. I returned from a week-long trip to Costa Rica on Tuesday morning with swollen ankles and sorry that I had missed my Sunday date with this blog and my morning yoga. These are two endeavors that I've recently reestablished but that haven't yet become normative, so I feared just letting go, it's so easy to do, as you know.
CR is the remarkable place they say it is, very welcoming of tourists and you will see monkeys and the birds are amazing. The trip was to celebrate my niece's wedding, which was a wonderful event in the lives of all 90 or so people who gathered there. A remarkable witnessing event. A blessing. I read a poem by Tennyson during the ceremony and I danced at the reception, something I had thought I'd forgotten how to do. Young people drink too much, and saying this says what? That I'm getting old?
I didn't take enough books to read and wasn't able to do any writing although I mentally tore apart and reconstructed and then tore apart again my current manuscript, Slight Faith. I brought copies of my books and gave one to a 16 year old cousin, who appreciated it, but as you know, most folks aren't very interested in poetry. I only mention his age with great esteem, to say that maybe there is hope. I speak only of my family of course, but maybe there actually is hope. Is there?
I read The Zone of Interest (Martin Amis) and Be Near Me (Andrew O'Hagan), both hardly celebratory, both worth reading. Today I am reading Redeployment (Phil Klay) which should be required reading, particularly for women. Or maybe it's just me that suffers such enormous perplexity about men, combined with such a strong desire to understand them. Yes, them.
It's more clear to me why I need (and want) to reestablish a yoga practice, it makes my body feel stronger and has an overall focusing effect; it is less clear why I want to commit to writing a blog. I suppose my need here is to create a repository of mixed emotions.